It's the Bad Girlfriend Voodoo Doll!

Guys, you know how it is when you're dating that girl you met 8 beers into that fateful night about 4-5 months ago at a bar. Things are going nice, then all of a sudden there are subtle changes in her behavior. And by "subtle changes" I mean about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the groin. Now you're expected to hang out with her friends, go to the latest gooey-chick flick, your phone is ringing off the hook, you can't get online without getting sappy instant messages and your cell phone bill resembles the national debt due to the number of times she texts you.

To add insult to injury, your buddies are giving you a very hard time about it, calling you "whipped". But you don't want to break up with her because things aren't THAT out of hand and as far as you know, she hasn't prepared that pet rabbit as dinner for you (if you need help with that last line, email us).

So what do you do? Get the Bad Girlfriend Voodoo Doll, that's what you do! For less money than that glass of Pinot Grigio she'll be ordering next time you take her out to eat, you can get the voodoo doll that will put her back in line. Covered with 25 desirable girlfriend qualities and 10 stick pins, all you have to do is stick a pin into the activity that you want her to do and she will instantly turn back into that same caring woman who you fell in love with over those 4-5 tequila shots.

What are some of the desirable qualities? How about "Show me you love me", "Let's have sex", "Don't call me 10 times a day", "Don't criticize my friends" and "Stop eating like you'll never be single again". What could be better?

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention to my brothers-in-arms that I also sell a Bad Boyfriend Voodoo Doll as well, so watch out for potential retaliation!

UPDATE: Stop giving me a hard time about selling the Bad Boyfriend Voodoo Doll, I have to make a living, too!